“I do not like the English”…. a journey to remember

Diving, diving and more diving. That was the main reason we decided to head to Amed, on the East coast of Bali.

The journey from Ubud to Amed was interesting. We were in a small, but very comfy people carrier along with two young Canadian girls and two 60+ year old gentlemen, one from Switzerland and one from Italy. A few minutes into the journey the Italian chap asked the Swiss guy where he was from…

“Ahhh good, you’re not English. If you were English I would not speak to you. I don’t like English people.”

Going to be a fun five hours.

At the point of the Italians declaration Deborah and I had not spoken a word. Therefore, the Italian was unaware of our nationality. He soon found out when Deborah offered him a sweet.

“Ahh but you are English, the English are not generous. I have never seen this before.”

Turns out the Italians dislike to all English nationals was history. He had not personally had a bad experience, but his understanding of history brought him to the conclusion that all English people were to be hated.

Deborah won him round a little with her sweet sharing and I think he drew the conclusion that at least one English person was OK. The jury was still out about me.

The guy was real entertainment value. After four hours of what seemed to be reasonably pleasant conversation with the Swiss guy. Out of the blue about half an hour from Amed, for no clear reason he declared to the bus that he didn’t like the Swiss. Priceless. You couldn’t make it up. He was ridiculously opinionated but in the majority of cases for no real rational to back his opinions up.

En route to Amed our driver took us to a coffee plantation. A highlight of this stop was supposedly the opportunity to sample Kopi Luwak, one of the most expensive coffees in the world, for a snip of the normal retail price. The reason this coffee is so expensive is that it is made from coffee beans found in faeces of the Toddy Cat. The Toddy Cat only swallows the finest beans. The beans don’t get digested so come out whole. The poo is gathered, beans removed, cleaned and roasted to create one of the most expensive coffees in the world.

When in Rome….. The coffee was very nice. Smooth. You just had to keep out of your mind the fact that you were drinking something that not long ago was contained within animal crap.

Kopi Luwak

After an entertaining journey we were dropped at our accommodation for the next few days, Barong Cafe. The place had come highly recommended and we were not disappointed. Only four apartments, pretty much the pool to ourselves and panoramic views of the ocean, all for £12.50 per night. Bliss. I had a feeling Deborah was going to be very happy here while I go scuba diving for the next couple of days.

Barong Cafe

The times have changed

The Phnom Penh crew

Great weekend with Tom and Si.

A cheeky little upgrade to a suite by the hotel got us off to a good start. Never hurts does it.

A wild weekend was planned. We start off with a tour of S-21 (a prison of torture) followed by a trip to the killing fields. Hmmmmm. Maybe a little more somber than our Uni days filled with copious amounts of snakebite, pints of skittles and three trebles for a fiver.

What a humbling day. Such a horrific period of history under the Khymer Rouge rule, one third of the population killed over a four year period. Anyone who was considered a threat to the regime were killed, along with their families. Their categorisation of ‘threat’ was quite broad. If you wore glasses you were killed, might be a sign of intelligence. If you had pale skin you were killed, suggested you didn’t work outdoors and therefore might be intelligent. Crazy to believe. You can’t imagine what it must have been like. The people are so resilient though and positive. All credit to them, there will be very few, if any, who wouldn’t have been affected by that horrid time in the countries history. It made Me feel very sad and angry that the regime was allowed to go on for that long without the rest of the world stepping up and stepping in. But, then again, it still happens now. Will there be a time when peace, equality and the value of human life comes before politics, power and greed?

Well hello lovely lunch

Nom nom

Sunday was mostly spent trying to find Tom the best place to get his now obligatory handstand photo. Tom is building a collection of handstand photos from locations around the world of significant interest or notoriety. The winner was….

Later that day Debs and I yet again tried to visit a grand palace, we’ve already failed twice to visit Bankok grand palace so we thought we’d give Phnom Penh a shot.

Fuming. We got there and they had shut entrance to the palace early. After a few frustrated words with the reception/security staff we decided instead that we would spend our last few hours in Phnom Penh reminding Tom and Si of the cheapness of the majority of South East Asia (£1.20 for a JUG of beer) and they prepared us for the shock our wallets are going to experience when we land in Singapore tomorrow (£16 for a GLASS of beer).

Our Cambodia adventure is over…. some temples, meditation, yoga, veganism, protein withdrawal symptoms, beach time, crabs (the edible type), catching up with old friends and making some new friends…. next stop Singapore, where hopefully Deborah will be able to eat a normalish diet again.

JG

A weekend in Cambodia with Mr Gooding and Si‏

Our boy Mr Gooding

We’re very, very excited today. Today we are making the journey from Kep to Phnom Penh. It’s not another bus journey on the wonderfully smooth Cambodian roads (sarcasm) that we are looking forward to but the fact that tonight my good friend from my university days, Mr Tom Gooding, and his house mate in Singapore, Si, will be flying in to meet us for the weekend. After four and a bit months of traveling together, the majority of the time it being just Debs and I, you look forward to the company of others. Not quite sure how Debs has managed to put up with me for so long. I put it down to the cheap alcohol in South East Asia.

JG

Paradise Island Koh Rong

It was a bumpy ride x

Shianoukville is not really the place for us – we don’t get a good vibe about the place so we are desperate to get out to Koh Rong, which is an undeveloped island off the coast of Cambodia.

We settle on The Palm Beach Resort (http://www.palm-beach-koh-rong.com) and after a 4 hour boat journey out there (it lies on the website when it says 2hours) its safe to say we have landed in paradise. This place is I.N.C.R.E.D.I.B.L.E.

7km Beach x

It is everything you would want from a deserted island. We only get electric from 6pm – 11pm and the internet doesn’t exist. We feel right at home. White sand, blue sea and a Pina Colada or two, or three, or four!

Happy days selfie x

Lovely stuff x

John makes the tough transition from lying down by the sea to lying down in the hammock in the beach hut…he becomes so relaxed he said it took him 45 minutes to move the gargantuan 2 metres to pick up his iPad from the table. I have never been so proud. (John is not the best at relaxing so this is a real milestone!)

Lazy days x

I downloaded loads of yoga and mediation guides so we could continue with the good habits we picked up at Hariharalaya. In the whole time we are there not one stretch is performed, not a single chant is uttered and evening meditation is done in the bar with a beer and a deck of cards.

Preparing to kick John’s ass a Slam. x

MMMMmm beer cocktail x

We swim in the sea at night and watch the trails of phosphorescence left behind by tiny little algae that light up when you move. We trek to a 7km beach and bump into the filming crew of ‘Survivor’, have the most expensive diet coke on the planet and then get a motorbike home after burning my feet on the scorching sand. After such an action packed day we vow not to move a muscle after that…and we don’t.

We drink the red wine (so good) and whisky cokes from the $1 dollar bottle we bought in Shianoukville, while watching reruns of Modern Family in the hammock as the sun sets. Magic.

Could not have asked for a better six days. Bliss

Feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.

Night night

DW xxx

Shout out to Rik, Beast, Aaron & Clare – you made our stay with your stories and smiles. Thanks a million xxx

The ‘Hotel’ Bus to Shianoukville

This photo is from http://www.charliemcrae.com (great blog) I didn’t take a photo of it so just imagine this with walls to make full booths and a seriously narrower aisle. x

Feeling flush we splash out and get a hotel bus with your own private cabin (draw string curtain) and TV (we didn’t even try it) for our journey from Siem Reap to Shianoukville (11 hours).

Now I know why hotel busses do not exist anywhere else apart from South East Asia. Its a H&S Managers dream come true.

Let me paint you a picture…

The bus has about twenty private cabins (top & bottom on each side) all leading off a central aisle about 30cm wide. It’s so slight you have to turn on your side and inch your way down to find your booths. The coach has one escape hatch that looks impossibly small and unlike the other buses there are no hammers to smash any of the windows. Can you feel my palpatations?

The whole journey I am having constant nightmares thinking that if this bus tips (which it feels like on numerous occasions) I will have three fully grown men squashing me down and no way to get out. Breath………..

John hopped off bright eyed and bushy tailed at our new location…whilst I, pale and shaky from lack of sleep and continuous hellish daydreams (I could not sleep) sort of wobbled off the bus and out into the precious, wonderful day light blinking furiously like a baby mole. Never again. Give me an ordinary night bus any day of the week.

Night night

DW xxx

To hippie or not to hippie…that is the question!

See Joel at the front. What a beard x

So what do I feel about my first retreat?

YOGA
The yoga was amazing, after ten days I was nearly as elastic as I was aged 10. I was not quite tucking my feet behind my ears toddler style or doing intricate headstands like a full on yogini but that’s ok by me… I feel like it gave me a good starting point.

After intense yoga sessions, random feelings and old emotions hit me out of nowhere which was very confusing – it’s supposed to be calming and centring no? This happened twice after deep hip opening positions and it puzzled me until I found out later that we manifest unfinished emotional business in our hips. I suppose a good analogy for this would be our hips are a bit like that draw everybody has at home where you just shove all the things that don’t really have a proper place… then whenever you open it (and it’s rare that you do because it’s just full of junk) stuff spills out everywhere. It just clicked for me, it made perfect sense.

If somebody had told me that my hips were essentially my emotional junk draw ten days ago I would have nodded politely on the outside whilst thinking they were off their rocker on the inside. It was a very powerful discovery for me and I hope to continue with it back home. I knew I had big hips for a reason!

MEDITATION
This was hard. My mind does not resemble a still lake and I very much doubt it ever will. I did have a mini epiphany where for about 20 seconds my mind was empty and I could no longer feel my body but as soon as I realised it all vanished into thin air.

I always fell asleep at the Yoga Nidra (meditation lying down) and guiltily always saw this session as a good way to get a quick snooze in before dinner (Sorry Joel).

I honestly have to say the whole philosophy behind meditation makes perfect sense and the difference I felt doing yoga and meditation together helped to calm the storm inside. You know that satisfying feeling when you clean the house from top to bottom… It felt like that but inside my head. It just felt good.

VEGAN FOOD
Although I don’t want to see another vegan stew for a long time…the food was no issue for me, unlike John who literally suffered cold turkey protein related withdrawal symptoms. A few times I found him day dreaming intensely. After a quick nudge to bring him out of his reverie he’d regale me with his perfect meat based day dream and gaze longingly off into the distance picturing eggs – boiled, scrambled, poached and fried.

The stuff John’s dreams were made of. Courtesy of http://www.friedstuffwithcheese.com

Based on this retreat I have now made the transition from pescatarian to vegetarian and will play about with more vegan recipes when I get home (sorry Mum). I want to try a raw diet cleanse too but I haven’t mentioned this to John yet because I think he’ll leave me.

In all honesty I really cherished this time to take stock of myself from the inside out. I had time to stop and think properly about who I am, question my values and look at what I think and feel on a deeper level. But most of all it gave me the opportunity to think about what I want my place in the world to be and how I can help and do my best not just for myself but for others too. Deep huh? See it was a really busy ten days!

Namaste lovely blog readers.

Sweet dreams

DW xxx

The diary of a sceptic: 10 days on retreat (JG)

DAY 1
Keep an open mind, keep an open mind. You’re here so just embrace it. In our first meditation session we swallow a metaphorical pill that contained our entire solar system, well not all of the solar system, that would have been too much to swallow, so we left out pluto. I manage two helpings at lunch, surprising, considering that only 40 minutes ago I swallowed the majority of our solar system. Joel, the founder, has a very impressive beard.

At the end of day one I am wondering whether I have now officially entered in to a cult? First thing tomorrow google the definition of cult.

There’s a DJ in our bungalow. Dance music from the local village starts at 6pm and continues until 3am. Ironic really for a peaceful meditation retreat.

DAY 2
Turns out it’s wedding season. This means loud music from the village for more nights to come. Who needs sleep to relax?

What is this guy on about? Think about all of the earthworms and those that have been before!?! Yesterday it was spoons. I’m not sure I understand anything he talks about. Is it just me? Everyone else seems totally into it. I’m just confused. Meditation is hard, Yoga is fun and the vegan food is quite nice.

Pulled some killer shapes at expressive dance.

DAY 3
Body aches from expressive dance. Turns out some do understand Joel’s metaphors some don’t. I guess he just has a different way of explaining a point. Need to concentrate harder.

Another vegan stew/broth/soup for dinner. All starting to taste the same.

DAY 4
Day of silence. Shhhhuuuusssssshhhhh!!!

Concentrated harder. Understood the point of the first metaphor but spent so much time working it out that I missed the rest of what he said.

Meditation, essentially sitting still in silence and emptying your mind, is not easy. Thoughts keep pouring in, mostly about chicken, and the pain in my ass, back and knees.

DAY 5
Implement advice from Sean, the manager, on meditation. Try not to fight the thoughts, let them ride out. This makes todays meditation session a lot less frustrating and more relaxing.

Need to break free from the retreat. Feeling chlostrophobic. Grab a couple of bikes and cycle to the temple nearby. Temple is nice, iced coffee at the cafe opposite is nicer. No coffee allowed in Hariharalaya. Notice chicken on the menu but fight the urge.

Have a massage this afternoon with a local blind masseuse. Turns out I must have offended him in a past life as he spends the hour pummelling my body. Worked wonders on my bad shoulder mind so signed up for two more.

Stomach can’t take another vegan stew/broth/soup for dinner. I decide to just eat rice. Craving a none wet meal, preferably with a source of protein.

Movie night tonight. Karate Kid.

DAY 6
Got a taste for the world outside Hariharalaya. Take a bike and head off to the local market. Treat myself to another coffee.

Joel has kindly arranged for a trip to meet the monks at a local pagoda and meditate with them. Amazing experience. Unfortunately I end up at the front facing the monk for the meditation. Can’t get comfy. Spend the 30 minutes of meditation thinking that the monk knows that I’m thinking about chicken and shuffling around to try and get comfy. So much for stillness.

Got a lift there and back on a scooter. Three grown adults on the bike. Poor bike.

Think a five or six day retreat would have been enough for me. Starting to feel like a school boy fighting naughty urges to rebel.

Sean did a magic show tonight. I want to be a magician.

How do they do it?

DAY 7
Went on the village bike tour today. Was great. A local farmer with a good grasp of English gave the tour. He took us around the market and then introduced us to his family. A humbling insight into village life in Cambodia, the joys and struggles.

Decided to take the “all classes mandatory” rule with a pinch of salt.

Got beaten up again by the masseuse.

DAY 8
Trip to the big city. A group of us biked to Siem Reap. Bike too small for me. Ass and knees hurt.

Ate eggs benedict, had a coffee, ate a burger, cycled back. God I miss protein.

Sweet treat tonight, coconut ice cream. Delicious.

DAY 9
Common phrase used, connect with your breath. Finding it difficult to do so as I only have one functioning nostril. On the long inhales and holding of breath I am almost passing out.

DAY 10
New yoga teacher. Gives a punishing routine. Not sure about the wrist and hand dance at the start of the class. Bit early in the morning for wrist dancing.

Final session with the masseuse. First client for him this morning. Instead of the hour he gives me an hour and a half. Could be for one of three reasons:

1. He likes me and wanted to give me a thoroughly good massage before I leave
2. He doesn’t like me and enjoys causing me pain
3. He feels sorry for my sore shoulder and decides to give it some extra attention.

I’d like to think it’s a combination of one and three but can’t help feeling it may be a little of two.

Got worried when he suggested cupping. Put my hands straight over my crotch. Rather me cup than him. Mistaken, cupping is having a contraption not too dissimilar to a toilet plunger stuck onto you to get deeper into your muscles. “Too hard?” He asked. “No fine” I say. When the suckers are removed he laughs and says “ooops too hard.” Have three golf ball size lumps around my shoulder blade. Walk out in a dizzy massage haze. Daisy gives me evils. She’s been waiting for half an hour for her massage. Whoops.

This is what happens when you get cupped

DAY 11
We made it.

Day of silence. Makes it a bit difficult to say our goodbyes to people. Tuk tuk back to the city where protein rich food and a cold beer await.

OVERALL VERDICT….
I am really glad that we did this, but six or seven days would have been enough for me.

I don’t quite know whether I have enjoyed it or not. But then it was a complete step into the unknown and out of my comfort zone, so I’m not sure whether I was ever supposed to? I certainly feel that I’ve developed myself in areas that were previously alien to me and aim to continue with yoga and meditation, so I don’t think I can really ask for more.

A big thank you to the team at Hariharalaya who constantly went out of their way to make our stay a good one.

JG

The Naked Truth About Meditation…

Ommm, thinking about spoons…x

The day of silence is upon us. John and I forget and have a very early morning chat, suddenly remember and then revert to sign language in the dark. Along with silence it is meditation immersion day:

Daily schedule:

S**t!

This is going to be tough. The meditation is the most challenging part of this entire experience. After nearly four hours meditating I am literally screaming inside my head for the little symbol to sound signalling the end of the session and the end of the day. I never thought it would be so hard to sit still and think about nothing but truly it is. Your back starts hurting, the mosquitos are buzzing and biting everywhere, you can smell dinner cooking and its all very distracting when your trying to clear your mind.

My meditation goes a little something like this:

6pm
Feeling comfy, eyes closed, clear mind.Yes. Positive.

6.01
Mmmm wonder what is for tea tonight?

6.02
Stop it, no… must clear mind…. clear and free.
Yes back on track.

6.03
I hope that Bridget Jones new book is as good as the last one
Mr Darcy…
Loved Pride and Prejudice…
Not the one with Keira though…
Too pouty!

6.04
Oh crap!
Thank the thoughts for coming but just let them free…
Bye bye thoughts…
(picture fast flowing stream with mini thought boats floating away)

6.05
Nice, clear, free mind…
I could do this forever it’s so easy…
Mind is like a still lake. (Picture a still lake)

6.06
I wonder if John will let me have a Pug when we get back.
I really miss Ruby (my cat)
Ooooh wonder how Mum and Dad are?
Could murder a Sunday dinner right now…
Mmmmm Pavlova for pudding. With strawberries…

6.07
Bloody stupid brain. Stop. It.
*mosquito buzzing right next to my ear*
Must.Not.Move.
MANTRA: Don’t move, don’t move, don’t move.

6.07
*Audible SLAP*
Ha. Got the bastard…
Take that you little shit…

*Nanosecond thought consideration*
Crap – not very Buddhist behaviour…
All life is precious…
Very important life lesson. Must remember…

6.08
Back on track now…
At one with the world…
Must concentrate on the breath for reconnection…
Yes…
Calm…

*tantrum in head like toddler*
I can’t do this. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t…
I really need a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee eeeeeeeeeee

6.09
*Incredulous*
How long have we been doing this?

6.10
*Screaming inside voice*
RING THE BLOODY BELL!

And that was just the first ten minutes. Imagine 4 hours of being in your own mind?

At about 9.30pm John and I cracked and had a good old gossip session tucked underneath the mosquito net.

Namaste lovelies

Over and out

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

DW XXX

Hariharalaya Retreat Day 3…

Sun setting just before evening meditation x

I have broken out in a rash! What else Asia? Seriously. I’m surround by very young, yogi type, beautiful people and looking like a blotchy, pimply red sweat bag and it’s doing nothing for my chakras/chi/ying/yang etc.

With this in mind I have decided it’s my bodies way of telling me I need to relax MORE so I take today’s relaxation regime to the extreme and read about how to recharge my chakras (all of them need doing), drink coconuts and serenely, or at least in my head, practise yoga at sunset.

All is going well and we are both really getting into the groove of this place until mid-meditation I nearly throw up from an uncontrollable coughing fit that just descended from nowhere. The room was pitch black as I launched myself up from my mat and leapt for the door. The room was at total peace, all deep breathing and relaxed faces, until I charged through trying not to trip over peoples hand woven yoga shawls, tiger balm and mosquito spray. At least it was dark and nobody could see it was me.

It’s about 9.30pm, Chinese New Year and I’ve just sat down to write this as ‘Who let the dogs out’ has started to play at another wedding near the retreat. It’s Chinese New Year so I have no doubt it will carry on until the early hours.

Tomorrow we are all meant to be completely silent – nobody is allowed to speak. I am really looking forward to it for some reason. Sometimes it’s tiring making friends and asking the same questions all the time. I am looking forward to just being.

10.20pm -the dogs in the village are actually now howling and the two geese that live in the pond behind our hut have just decided to take a very splishy splashy bath. You’ve gotta laugh.

Night night

DW xxx

Hariharalaya Retreat Day Two…

Tree pose x

6.30am gong goes off and we are ready to go. After Manumission closed at 3am the Monks start chanting a 4am so there has really been very little peace and quiet considering it’s a retreat. Never the less off we trot off for a quick green tea before our first session of yoga in the main hall. I think I have just fallen in love, the session is fabulous and I feel amazing. Next up is chanting, very dubious about this but in for a penny in for a pound so we ommmm and chant for 30 minutes and I surprise myself because I absolutely love it too….jaya, jaya, hari chrishna all of it. Next meditation which proves hard, colours, memories, thoughts, feelings all swarm in front of my closed eyelids but I feel myself let go a little more and there are moments of gentle stillness that last all of 5 seconds max until another thought comes crashing in to disrupt me. Stupid brain.

In celebration of the new moon we are told we will be doing an expressive dance meditation tonight – I’m not making this up honestly. Slight apprehension as any dancing that takes place for me is usually done after a few glasses of wine.

6pm came and so did the gong to call us all into the hall. I peeled myself off the hammock all the time feeling a slight sense of foreboding. This is what proper hippies do! We all laid down and meditated for a while. Joel then ‘invited us’ to start moving our bodies around on the floor. I kept having cheeky peeks at the others – I just couldn’t get into it. I was strategically placed next to the exit in case of a quick getaway. I tried frantically to gesture to John that I was leaving but he was too busy doing interpretive Muay Thai positions so I thought well sod it, if he is getting into it then so am I. At that point the beat started picking up and we all got onto our feet. We danced for about 40 minutes and it was crazy. There was some serious interpretive moves and shapes being pulled on that dance floor, people were totally going for it with not the slight hint of self consciousness. John was actually lunging at one point, others were whirling, stomping, clapping, shouting all with no alcohol on a Thursday night – brilliant. This was seriously one of the best things we have done so far. Just goes to show you have got to step out and try new things….

Bed early again and surprisingly no techno music. Bliss x

The light in me shines to the light in all of you. Namaste… ha

DW xxx